Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Things We Learn from Weeds

I've been learning a lot from my weeds lately. It started about a month ago when I started my garden.  It is growing beautifully, but I thought I had gotten all of the weeds.  I spent extra time really digging to the roots of those huge weeds and pulling out, or so I thought, all of the weeds.  Well, I came back a week later and there they were again.  Those darn weeds.  So I started pulling.  Some of them were just barely growing and were easy to pull out, but quite time consuming because there were so many individual sprouts.  Then there were others that looked small and when I went to pull them they just broke off, but left a deeper root at the bottom under the dirt.  I was lazay and just moved on when I couldn't see the actual weed in its place.  

Well, we all know what happens there, leave it to grow a couple of days and there they are "growing like weeds" hence the reason we have that phrase to begin with (I think).  And so I have tried to be wiser.  I went in a week ago and hoed the entire thing.  Turns out I had to do it in the heat of the day, because I had no time otherwise.  So there I was sweating, hoeing and cursing those stupid weeds I thought I had dug up 2 weeks earlier.  I told myself that this was going to be the end of my hoeing days and I was getting every last one.  Well, after hoeing the heck out of the weeds and some of my poor plants (oops) the garden was pretty and weedless.  I laid Preen down and hoped that I had done it right...well, lazy hoeing equals more weeds tomorrow.  So needless to say, I didn't do it right (it doesn't help that the plot I'm working with hasn't had a garden on it in 10 years and so the root system and seeds of the weeds go way back and deep down.)  I have weeded for about 30-40 min every day this week and crazily enough there are still plenty of little tiny weeds growing.  I'm realizing day after day that I'm doing it wrong. I'm being lazy and just ripping off the top part (not meaning to of course), but realizing that it takes some digging and work to get those deep, embedded roots.

Yesterday I did it in the sprinklers so it wasn't so hot. This morning, I did it at 7am so it wasn't so hot and the ground was still moist.  I dug around the weed and its mighty root before pulling, assuring myself and the weed that the whole thing had been dug up.  As I did this, I couldn't help but liken this to life and real weeds that we face.  Divorce, addictions, daily routines we can't break, miscommunications, behaviors etc.  I think we all have our own weeds and we're sometimes fortunate enough to have people help us with our weeds and help us.  We have to get to the root of the problem if we are going to not have to go back and deal with the same problem over and over again. I was thinking about parenting.  (Far be it for me since I don't have kids...but I do deal with a lot of kids...)Not just giving in each time a child wants something, but setting up boundaries and continually being conistent (one of my huge goals!!!) so that the kids know what the clear expectation is and that their behavior will reflect the reward/outcome.  We do that every day, but I think we often get negative behavior because it gives the child the outcome they want (us exhausted and giving in to their whining, fits, tantrums etc) and we are left with one more weed that we only snap off at the top and the root is ready to grow again.

I look at cycles and things that we continuously do and think about how many times we just take care of part of the problem and don't cute it at the root.  We continually fall back into bad habits, because we don't change the habit entirely.  It is interesting.  I have recently lost 30 pounds and have been consistent in my eating habits since I lost the weight, but I'm not eating as well as I did when I was losing the weight. So frankly, if I was doing what I was doing when I lost the weight I could still be losing weight (on to my goal of 10 more pounds so I could weigh what I did in Jr. High when Coach Stephenson asked me how much I weighed and I felt totally bad about it...looking back, I would be 100% okay with that number!!!) but now I'm just settling for maintaining.  But that is not effective, because frankly, it's easy to let a few pounds sneak back on here and there. I haven't been running every day like I used to, but have skipped out on exercises. Even though I formed good habits (chopping off the head of the weed) it's like I'm slipping back into bad habits again (the root still there and the weed beginning to grow).  I'm glad that at least because of weeds (and scales) I'm recognizing it and trying to get to the ROOT of the problem before it becomes a bigger problem.

I think it works this way with many things.  Communication in relationships, marriage, friendship, families etc.  We have the head and we have the root. What are we doing to change those things so they are a more positive experience and don't always end up in confusion we seem to have?  I'm not saying I have the answer, I'm just aware of the problem!  I'm working on being a better sister. That is hard for me, but I'm working on it.  I wrote my mom a sincere email last night (she's in Ecuador so email seems to be convenient) and it felt good to just let down all of my walls and say, "Mom, I'm sorry for not having been the best daughter, but thanks for being patient with me and teaching me all the things you do and for loving me anyway, even though I'm a jerk sometimes!  And I love you for loving me and teaching me through your example of how we are supposed to be." 

If we have boyfriends/girlfriends (or don't have for that matter) and have been in broken relationships before, don't ya think it would do us well to look at the weeds in our previous relationships to help us think about what kind of issues we have in these ones and get rid of the weed completely. Pull up the root, so this one can succeed!!! Hopefully! 

Well, here's to happy weeding, that could possibly turn into a wedding!!! (Had to add that as I mispelled weeding and saw wedding. It's too close and too perfect to pass up!!!)  Get some dirt under those fingers, cry a few tears and get to the root of the problem before the problem becomes an overpowering weed that you can't control!  Happy weeding/wedding!

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