I'm presenting in my class today on creativity in giftedness. It has actually been a lot of fun to create my ppt. I have learned how to insert video (I included a clip from the Big Bang Theory, Dead Poet's Society and a picture of Dumbledore) (Troy is adding a wonderful clip from Monty Python and the Holy Grail of course! It's funny!) and animate words etc. It has been great. I hope it turns out well. I was looking for this quote and without too much difficulty found it! I also really like the story of Darwin. It goes to show that creativity and giftedness is innate (I have an argument on that of course) and internal to some extent. But really fun in the meantime!
If I could learn how to insert my ppt here I would!
Elder Eyring recalled: “My father was at a blackboard we kept in the basement. [As we worked on the problem], suddenly he stopped. ‘Hal,’ he said, ‘we were working on this same kind of problem a week ago. You don’t seem to understand it any better now than you did then. Haven’t you been working on it?’ A bit embarrassed, I admitted I had not. ‘You don’t understand,’ my father went on. ‘When you walk down the street, when you’re in the shower, when you don’t have to be thinking about anything else, isn’t this what you think about?’ ‘When I told him no, he paused. It was a very tender moment, because I knew how much he loved me and how much he wanted me to be a scientist. Then he said, ‘Hal, I think you’d better get out of physics. You ought to find something that you love so much that when you don’t have to think about anything, that’s what you think about’” (Gerald N. Lund, “Elder Henry B. Eyring: Molded by ‘Defining Influences,’” Ensign, Sept. 1995, 12).
Monday, February 13, 2012
February 13, 2012
I can't believe that it's only been 2 years since my heart was broken into more pieces than I knew what to do with.
I was so hurt and so broken and so fallen apart that I had no idea what to do, but get up everyday and breathe in and out. I was in a bad place and I walked into my classroom on February 14th to a classroom full of flowers, notes, hearts a teddy bear and love. I broke down into tears and crumbled to the floor as an overwhelming outpouring of love came into my mind and heart. It was one of the beginning of many days that helped me to be emotionally healthy again. I realized how loved I was and was surrounded by people who I needed and who in turn in needed me. I realized then and even more now that we are supposed to be here for each other and that people hurt each other without meaning to and even sometimes with meaning to, but that there is no pain that can not be healed by love. Love of self, love of the Savior, love of others. I feel so blessed to have learned all the things I have in the last two years. I would be celebrating my 2 year anniversary today, but instead I've helped (I hope) someone who is going through a difficult time on this, her first Valentine's Day alone. I remember how I needed people to validate and love me on that day and let me know that though my life (it seemed) had fallen apart and couldn't be put back together, that there were still people who loved me and validated, even enjoyed and needed my existence. I remember how much that meant to me and forever will mean so much to me. I have been so blessed. I have learned so much and have been able to do so many things.
If I hadn't had my heart broken look at all things I wouldn't have been able to do:
1. Go back to school and get my PE and Health endorsements
2. Go to Spain (that is probably the biggest dream I would have never completed!)
3. Go to Greece
4. Go to Hawaii 3 times!
5. Go to New York for a second time!
6. Meet my Grandpa for the first time.
7. Meet my Aunt Linda for the first time.
8. Meet my Dad again for only the 3rd time
9. Learn from so many other people
10. Know who I am more than I ever knew before
11. Continue to work in the temple and gain a testimony of what peace can be found there. (It's been a total of 7 years I've been able to serve in the temple.)
12. Learn how temporal life is and how fragile the time we have here is.
13. Learn to love myself so much more than I ever did.
14. Be happy on my own, not needing anyone to help me be happy even if the world was falling apart!
15. Run a half marathon
16. Run Red Rock Relay 2 times
17. Be me, the girl that Heavenly Father knows I can be and the princess; daughter of a King I have always told Him I wanted to be!
I will be okay and so will everyone else who has ever or will ever have a broken heart! It has been some of the hardest pain I've ever been through, but if I could choose again, I would never ever change it, because I'm becoming the girl that I know I am supposed to become. Life is a good thing to live! It's hard, but because of the pain and sorrow, there is joy and hope!
Two of my students came running into my classroom today with their fortune from their lunch today! It was great! They were so excited (I'm not going to lie, I was too!) They said, "Look and it even has your favorite number on it: 17 and won't you be 32 this year? It's your lucky fortune!" We proceeded to write the date on it and posted it on the wall of "HOPE" on my cork board!
I'm happy to say that 2 years ago today I didn't get married to a man I didn't need to get married to, to become the girl I am today. The growth I have been able to do would have never happened...so, as hard as it has been and for how many times I have wondered,(I have been known to wonder when I will get married) I now know that I will get married when it's right. That is all I need to know. That is what I have FAITH and HOPE in. Christ is my best friend. He is my Savior and has healed my broken heart, so much stronger than it ever was before. What a blessing of life! We are happy as we follow the Savior and do what He tells us to do! I'm glad for that!
Happy Valentine's Day! It's a great day to be ALIVE! (even though there are bound to be hard times ahead...just keep your head up...that's what I tell myself when I have the strength!) Off to buy more Valentines' suckers for the kids. Our fundraiser is rocking!!!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
2/4/2012 Saturday 3:58pmAfter I have been packing up all my earthly possessions, I wrote a letter to my mission president…I feel so much more at peace and realize that I have been holding onto a war inside of me for a long time and it hasn’t done anyone who’s touched it, any good…it has only caused everyone and myself included harm and not peace. I have been so angry and in so much pain because of it, but this time it’s different than other recent pain I’ve had, because this pain and anger doesn’t go away, because it’s a real pain inside of you, caused by you (me). When you realize where the source is from, it makes sense why you can’t feel peace…because peace doesn’t, won’t, can’t dwell in unclean things. I have tried to pray it away, but my heart wasn’t as broken and humble as it needed to be and so I have been fighting with myself (and the Lord) for 2 weeks (maybe more) to hold onto the anger and hurt…justifying it did nothing but make it worse…I’m glad I finally figured it out. I feel better…Here is the letter:
I have been thinking a lot about the mission lately and when you guys had a few hard times because of the company back home and how you (well, hna Chidester) said that it was hard and she remembered that the Lord spoke peace to your minds that everything would be okay...well I have been needing the Lord a lot lately (not that I don't always) but lately has been a lot harder than before and I have had to lean on the faith that I gained during the mission and have failed a few tests He's placed in my way, but come to Him in others and have grown because of the experiences I have had on my mission. Without those preparing experiences I would have never been able to peaceably get through these last couple of weeks. I thought I'd let you know that it is still in me and so needed. I have been reflecting on how we do hard things and how they just keep coming especially when we thought we had advanced to a different place and had learned that lesson. I have felt my Savior's love especially in the hardest moments and have been fighting to stay afloat and it has been hard...but when all else fails, He never ever will. And it is Him, who in the end has given me comfort and helped me become who I am and okay with where I'm at, taught me all the things I need to hear, and to know how to deal with the situation and timing of the events just in the last 2.5 weeks.
Thanks for your stalwart examples to me. It has been hard, but due to examples and experiences I have had in my life, I have been okay and sustained. It has been hard and just when you think you can't anymore, He says, "You can and I promise that if you just trust in me, you will be okay." And so the battle that I have been facing is getting on my knees and saying, "I'm sorry for not listening the first time." But knowing at that very moment that He will forgive me for my inadequacies and say, "I love you and its okay. I still love you." And that has been what I have needed to get back up and be happy (which has been really hard for me in the last two weeks and frustrating too, because I hate not being happy, I feel like I've failed in a way) and now I can keep going and I think He trusts me again...I remember you saying on the mission that sometimes because of our actions God still loves us, but He doesn't have confidence in us and just like I learned last week at institute with the 116 page manuscript that got lost, He didn't forgive very quickly, there was a time of mourning and Godly sorrow that had to happen and then as always, but after time, the Lord restored the Spirit and the gifts that were previously Joseph's and Martin Harris' to have. I too have felt the refining and the void as I haven't done what I should and it has been hard, and I have felt a distance from Heavenly Father and it is something I know I don't ever really want to have in my life again. It has been a lot of good learning and I am just waiting for the full peace I used to enjoy, to come back...
I just wanted to say thank you for teaching me and for being an example and a great mission president and Sister Chidester too. I learned a lot and could not have learned it in any other way and it was very HARD, so hard sometimes that I didn't know what to do, but I know with all of my heart that it happened the way it did so that I could be who I am and deal with what I'm dealing with right now and in the way I am, because I couldn't have peace in my heart in any other way. So thank you for seeing us through and seeing your mission through...even when it was the hardest thing you could do. It changed my life and gave me an example of endurance! Thank you...Mil gracias y, mucho amor,
I feel so much better after writing that and reading it again and realizing that we are here to learn and grow and that I have failed, but it’s not absolute failure, unless I refuse to change it. I’m grateful for a forgiving Father in Heaven and a Savior who gave His life for me so that I could make mistakes, be forgiven and learn that other people are needing that same forgiveness. I need that forgiveness from them too. I have a desire to do better and be better and it is a continual growing process, that as Elder Ballard once says is exactly what life is. I know my Savior lives and loves me and I’m grateful He forgives me and lets me through my tantrum until I’m ready to deal with it and that He sits and waits so patiently on me…I’m failing a lot of at waiting patiently on the Lord, but I know that each time I fail, it isn’t ultimate failure unless I refuse to correct it…so thank goodness for 2nd, 3rd, 4th……many chances to become better. Here’s to trying and failing and trying again. And here’s to a Savior that even makes it possible. Without Him, where or where would we be? Lost and fallen…without Hope. Now that is why Hope is and can still be my favorite word, even though I had almost given up on it. Here’s to HOPE!