Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Made this tonight! Yummy!

Really easy. Only tookabout 40 min. Watched the video 3 times as I made it and about ready to go eat it...if only I had some scallops!  Yum!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Looking forward, while looking back! Happy Birthday to my dad!

Oven baked parmesan seasoned fries :)

I read this in a talk today be President Erying, “I promise you, if you do all that you can, God will magnify your strength and your wisdom.  He will season you.”  Henry B. Erying, Conference October 2011 "Preparation in the Priesthood: 'I need your help'".

I thought about the different experiences that I have had today.  Many names came to mind of so many people I have dated.  I laughed as I thought about how my heart has been, “broken” so many times.  The fact that I have survived, just when I didn’t think I could and how the Lord has literally “seasoned” me and my life.  To season is to spice, flavor, to add experience to etc…I thought, "Would I rather have plain fries or seasoned fries?"  Red Robin came to mind, and I thought of how much I love those fries (and the fries I’m going to make that are homemade, that I found on pinterest) and how my life is like flavored, seasoned fries.  That I am that much better because of experiences I went through and never thought that I could get through.  But now, they’ve seasoned me and my life is full. I am happy. I am very blessed and couldn’t be happier that the Lord has granted unto me the blessings of working in the temple, and getting to know what I want and being happy in the process of growth through it all. It’s good to realize how blessed we are and the fact that as we progress, stretch and grow, that though it feels like it will never end, because it is so up in our faces and that’s all we can see, that life is all about growing and getting bigger and better! It’s to be happy while we grow that is the challenge…as my dad who’s birthday it is today, would say, “Therein lies the rub!”  I love you John! Happy Birthday doing the Lord’s will on the other side!  I knew today was going to be a special day for me, from the moment I realized that it was March 26th!  !Feliz Cumple!

To everything there is a season!

Ecclesiastes 3
1 To every thing there is a aseason, and a btime to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A atime to be born, and a time to bdie; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to alaugh; a time to bmourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to aget, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to arend, and a time to sew; a time to keep bsilence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to ahate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he alaboureth?
10 I have seen the atravail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be bexercised in it.
11 He hath made every thing abeautiful in his time: also he bhath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the cwork that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Getting out of Bondage

I have learned a lot about the flaxen chord that Satan ties around people's necks until they have no way to get out. It has been a hard thing for me to allow people that I love and care about immensely to go through their own learning process and realize that there is a way out. It sometimes seems that we are so far in that, that giving up is the only option, and generally that results in even more displeasure, pain and addiction.

I have been reading my scriptures and have found there is a key to getting out of bondage.  The key is Christ. He is the answer and has always been the answer. And when we just don't know how to get to Him, if we open our hearts and our scriptures, He spells it out for us quite plainly.

In Mosiah 7 the people are in bondage; literal bondage to other people and they're asking,vs 23 "And is not this, our affliction great?"  vs 24 "Great are the reasons which we have to mourn..."
I know I've asked myself a time or two, "How do I get out of this bondage that is making life unbearable?" 

There are always two answers.  The thing is, that life is all about choices and just like the Lord is good at doing, He tells us, "Here's option number 1 and 2.  You get to choose.  Remember how life is about making good choices and then reaping the rewards (good or bad) of those choices?"

vs 29-32 talk about the destruction that will come because of bad choices.

"29 For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not asuccor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a bstumbling block before them.
30 And again, he saith: If my people shall sow afilthiness they shall breap the cchaff thereof in the whirlwind; and the effect thereof is poison.
31 And again he saith: If my people shall sow filthiness they shall reap the aeast wind, which bringeth immediate destruction.
32 And now, behold, the promise of the Lord is fulfilled, and ye are smitten and afflicted."

And then like the perfect being that He is, He also reminds us of the other positive outcome choice!  He says, "But don't forget there's another happy option!  There always is!"  And so the other option is presented.  This option is usually harder, and takes more effort on our part, but in turn makes us happier in the long and tells us of our worth.  It reminds us of who we are (literal sons and daughters of perfect parent) and says, "I promise there's options.  Good ones that lead to they are."

"33 But if ye will aturn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all bdiligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."

So simply put
1. Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart
2. Put your trust in Him
3. Serve him with all diligence of mind

and His own time, according to His own will and pleasure (usually on the fourth watch, just when you think you can't take it any longer, or you've learned what you're supposed to) He WILL deliver you!  I know He will. He does it all the time.

On my mission, there were so many times, when I was just done. I couldn't do take it anymore.  Whatever it was, a hard companion, no success, physical pain (one time I had blisters under layers of skin on my hurt so bad I couldn't even walk!!!  Another time the bones in the top of my feet would cramp up so badly that I could hardly walk...what is a missionary without walking feet in Uruguay???)  and just when we were going up the hill, like the storm was ready to come, just when it was so hot and everyone would say, "If it would just rain, all this humidity would go away"  and I was like, "If I could just get a break, it would all be okay.  If so and so would just accept baptism etc...well, in those moments when it was literally the fourth watch, when life was so hard and unbearable and I had no where else to turn, I would pour out my soul to the Lord and of course, according to His own will and pleasure, the storm broke, the pain went away and He took my pain.  He took it from me and put it somewhere.  I know not where, but He took it and held it.  It was a miracle and every time ever since, it has been a miracle.  Just when I think I'm trapped and in bondage for forever, I realize that the storm is going to break soon.  I just need to have the faith.

I was reading today in Mosiah 11 and there they were expounding on their bondage and how awful it was,  God was saying, "They have done a lot of wicked things and they need to know that "except they repent and turn to me"   I will deliver them into the hands of their enemies, they will be brought into BONDAGE, they will be other words, "Things aren't going to look very good, because I am a jealous God, and I will visit the inquities of my people." vs 21-22

But He always gives us a way out and says, "23 And it shall come to pass that except this people repent and turn unto the Lord their God, they shall be brought into bondage; and none shall adeliver them, except it be the Lord the Almighty God."

I thought of the verse in chapter 7:33 and thought..."It's just that simple.  Go to Him.  Turn to Him and will care for us.  But no one can deliver us from the BONDAGE we are in, whether it be mental, physical, emotional etc... we have to give our will to Him and do our part. I love the quote by Elder Maxwell that says,

"As you submit your will to God, you are giving Him the only thing you can actually give Him that is really yours to give. Don't wait too long to find the altar or to begin to place the gift of your wills upon it! No need to wait for a receipt; the Lord has His own special ways of acknowledging." --Neal A. Maxwell, "Remember How Merciful the Lord Hath Been", Ensign, May 2004, pg 46

Elder Spencer W. Kimball said:

Sometimes . . . when a repentant one looks back and sees the ugliness, the loathsomeness of the transgression, he is almost overwhelmed and wonders, "Can the Lord ever forgive me? Can I ever forgive myself?" But when one reaches the depths of despondency and feels the hopelessness of his position, and when he cries out to God for mercy in helplessness but in faith, there comes a still, small, but penetrating voice whispering to his soul, "Thy sins are forgiven thee." [The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969, p. 344]
So I guess essentially, to get out of whatever bondage we may be in, physical, mental, addicted to something (pornography, alcohol, cigarettes etc) we are able to be released from that by going to Christ and giving our will to Him.  It's just that simple, yet so hard that we don't do it as much as we should.  I think we are in a battle to fight for what we truly want and when we do that, we show the Lord that we want His way more than any way, and when we do that we are freed from our BONDAGE.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Now it's really a white trash tooth!

Wow!  So I was doing great and then the endodontist called and said they needed to change my appointment from Friday (to finish the root canal) to Monday. I wasn't too excited about that as is because it was going to take so long to get it fixed.  Then I was in 5th period and a piece of the crown came off.  Not a huge piece, but enough to start the deteriorating process!!!  So by the time I was in faculty meeting an hour later I barely touched the tooth and the entire crown came off. When I say entire, I mean half, because it was already pretty much destroyed because he drilled through it when he took out the old root canal.  Well, now this really white trash beauty is what I'm left with!!!  It feels like a small mountaineous region inside my mouth to my tongue!  Funny how our mouths know when there is something wrong!!!  But come Monday I will be one step from another appointment to get a crown and 2 appts away from being "normal" again!  Maybe I'll celebrate by eating something crunchy!  This has been good, because now all I eat is soup. I did eat a salad today and bit it wrong...not good!  I have resorted to eating like a chipmunk with my front teeth and right side!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

I got a new calling...

Sunday, March 11, 2012
I just got home from church. I got a calling today to teach the 14-15 year olds in Sunday School. It’s like the perfect calling because I get to teach, but then I get to go to Relief Society still and meet the rest of the women in my ward. It was hard and great. It had its weak moments and its great moments, when I talked to them about being sons and daughters of God and if they remembered that, that they could get through anything and in that strength they would make it home to Heavenly Father! It was a sweet moment!
I have been coming up with all sorts of wonderful ways to teach them this concept and to allow them the freedom to choose what they want. Life is after all, all about choices! I want them to bring their scriptures because they want to, not because they get a treat. I did however give everyone a piece of gum who brought their scriptures today. I gave a whole piece to people who had all of their scriptures, whether on their phone or in book form. One of the girls was upset because she said that she had them on her phone, but they weren’t working. I said, “Then I can’t give you a piece of gum.” I gave the kid sitting next to her a piece of gum.  He had them on his phone. And she said she would share with him. I said, “That is fine, maybe he’ll share his whole piece of gum with you.  There is going to come a time when you have to know what you know and lean on what you know and you can’t borrow anyone else’s testimony.  You will have to be on your own and stand alone.  You have to know what you know.”  Another kid only had his Bible. He said it was because the library didn’t have any more Books of Mormon (note the correct grammar…thank you “The Best Two Years” the movie). I told him that if he had half of his sword, I would give him half of a piece of gum.

I invited them all to come next week prepared to learn.  To bring their scriptures, a writing utensil, and the following colors to mark their scriptures.

Color code your scriptures and learn to love them!

Red-Words of God/Jesus Christ/Prophets
Dark Blue-Faith, obedience
Yellow-Holy Ghost/Melchezidek Priesthood/Temple
Light blue-Baptism/Aaronic Priesthood
Brown-Historical things/dates/genealogy/geography

I told them that we are going to delve into the scriptures and learn to love them.  I’m so excited! I had a girl tell her friend she was texting, that we were learning that Heavenly Father is our Father and that this will be the last week she texts in class because what we are learning is so important.  She even got her seat moved!  I told her to move because she was being really disruptive.  She was like, "Why do I have to move?"  I said, "Just because it would be better if you did."  She picked up her chair still stuck to her rear end and moved it on top of the other chair on the other side of the classroom and said, "Now there's two."  She was being really obnoxious, but by the end of class she had kind of joined the class. It was fun, but hard, because it’s not like in school when they have to listen or there's a consequence …there are no “rules” here at church. I just want them to do things because they want to and to know that they really will find joy when they give their heart and will to Heavenly Father!

There was this sweet 13 year old girl (I subbed for 2 classes together, because their teacher didn’t show up…I secretly hope he doesn’t ever show up, because it was nice to have the sweet 13 year olds take the edge off the hard/stubborn 14/15 year olds (I know, I know I teach jr. high and I should be able to handle this!))  She was so kind. She answered seriously, took out her scriptures, even took notes and shared paper with another girl and offered to clean off the board and return the chalk to the library.  It was a good day, but I have my work cut out for me.

I’m devising a plan for next week. It has to do with green candy (St. Patrick’s Day) 3 types, 3 degrees and if they brought the 3 things they were supposed to!!! We’ll see how it goes and hope they get how it applies.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

White trash tooth

So 2 years ago I had a root canal!  Oh, the joy! Let me tell you! I have since learned that pain killers and me do not mix well.  I am quite nauseaous on them and dizzy.  I would probably never be caught with an addiction to pain killers. Who wants to be nauseous all the time? Not I!

 Well, about 3 weeks ago this same tooth started hurting and it like I was going to die. I tried ripping it out myself, but to no avail I went to 2 dentists. I didn't want to go to my old dentist because I had problems with them from previous visits.  So I tried a new dentist.  When I went they took x rays and told me that I was going to have to go back to the old dentist, because that was the one who did the root canal and that they would probably take care of it.

After going to the second dentist for the day, it was determined that I would need to go to an endodontist because the root canal was abcessed.  I went to an endontist the next day to find out that after they took about $400+ in xrays, that they weren't covered by my insurance!!! Awesome! That would have been good for me to know 20 min earlier.  As I was in so much pain, I didn't even think about checking that before making appointment. I just went where I was recommended to go!  (You live and learn right!)

So I called a different endo (mind you, that I didn't even know that endodontists existed until that week!) and made an appointment for that Monday (4 days later).  With all the pain, I finally gave in and went and got the prescription pain meds they gave me.  I took them. At some top ramen (note that I couldn't chew anything.) swallowed it whole, got a priesthood blessing and layed down to watch a movie (thanks Bryce for the blessing and accompanying me to watch Eclipse or Twilight or whatever it was we watched...maybe breaking dawn!)  I felt fine. No pain. No nausea. No nothing! I cancelled my sub for the next day and decided that I could go into school. 

Woke up in no pain! Amazing!  Went to work.  After taking my pain meds and amox.  I felt good, but come 9amish, every time I went to speak, I wanted to throw up.  I didn't want the pain medicine to leave my body, because after being in so much pain, I needed to not let the thing that was taking the pain away leave me!!!! So I kept everything down until around 12ish. I couldn't handle it and right in the hall I dry heaved into the garbage can as kids talked to me and passed by. I went into my classroom and hovered over a garbage can.  A very persistent student kept asking me questions. I finally had to say, "Do you need something right now?" He said, "No." And I (between dry heaves) said, "Please get out. Can't you see I'm throwing up here?"  (Some kids are just very concerned about their education!!!)

I went home and ate more top ramen, because I associated that with a full stomach and feeling better!!! I layed down, took a nap for 2 hours. Put in some movie. I don't know which one. I slept through it. Woke up 2 hours later, felt so much better! Ate some ice cream!  My treat when I'm sick!!! I put in a different movie and went back to sleep. No more nausea. I decided to not take any more pain pills. I felt like perhaps the pain went away because the amox. was killing the bacteria that was causing the abcess and infection.

My dentist told me that once I quit taking the amox, that all the pain would come back and worse.  So I decided to spread out my amox. until I could get in for surgery, which happened to be yesterday. I made it in just in time (after having visited AF Hospital for some "girl" medical stuff...oh the joy!  They didn't find anything so that's good! New experiences to help educate me more! Made a friend with the secretary, learned that a mam. isn't as painful as I thought it would be) and had the root canal.

I told them that last time I had it done, I was terrified and that they gave me valium to calm me down. I asked if they had any there. They just looked at me like I was crazy!!! They did give me nitrous oxide and it made me a little bit "spinny" I told the doctor that my head was spinning. I thought I might throw up a little bit. He turned it down. I wish in a way I had the valium, because last time I had the root canal I didn't pay attention to anything. This time I heard every little zzzzztttt and wwwwwwwwwwww was awful. I had to consciously tell myself to unclench my hands and relax. I tried to think of a beach and peaceful things while I laid there and he applied tons of pressure to this tooth.

So step 1 that happened yesterday was to take out the old root canal and put medicine in it (Oh, yeah let's not forget that they found a 4th hidden root! and I of course made sure to remind him to take care of that!!! I'm so silly when I'm on medicine! I was like (with my mouth full of stuff ) "don't forget the 4th root!!"  The kind and patient endo said, "Ok. I'll be sure to get it!"  I went back to focusing on the beach...

So I got done and felt like a truck had hit me.  He had seriously been pressing really hard on my face.  Good thing for my skull to protect me!  (I looked like it too. I had to laugh when I saw myself in the mirror! I looked special!)  and then the nitrous started to wear off and I could drive. I completely went against all I know to be healthy for me right now and had ice cream and a really (not very good tasting, I wish I could take it back) fattening soup and onion rings!!!

As I was eating on one side of my mouth, I could feel the other, non usable side and thought, "Wow, that tooth feels like it's half there."  When my endo, Dr. Fife (who is very attractive and single I might add) called to see how I was doing, I said, "Good. It just feels like I have a white trash tooth."  He laughed as if no one has ever said that before!  He said, "At least you can't see it and it's at the back. When you come in and finish it off next Friday, we'll clean it up and will get it ready for its crown."  Satisfied I went and took 3 IB Profane and laid on the couch watching Big Bang Theory and Everybody Loves Raymond and fell asleep!

I feel great today, but had to get a look at what my mouth tells me is a white trash tooth (partially decade and not very useful) so I took a picture. This is what it looks like!  I'm pretty sure that a chunk of whatever he put on it to help me out, has fallen out.  So to my tongue we are walking in decayed, white trash tooth city.  But next Friday I will be back to new.  Of course I will have no roots in that tooth and it will die, but hopefully I can run and scuba dive without pain now!  This tooth has been giving me trouble for 3+ years now! Good riddens!  PS looking at that picture, why would anyone want to be a dentist and put their fingers in people's mouths all day? Not me!!! I just put my thoughts in people's minds all day!!! (I think I still have a bit of the drugs in my system! I've felt kinda weird, but that is probably just cause I AM!!!)