Love! I love it for many reasons.

February 13, 2012

I can't believe that it's only been 2 years since my heart was broken into more pieces than I knew what to do with.

I was so hurt and so broken and so fallen apart that I had no idea what to do, but get up everyday and breathe in and out. I was in a bad place and I walked into my classroom on February 14th to a classroom full of flowers, notes, hearts a teddy bear and love. I broke down into tears and crumbled to the floor as an overwhelming outpouring of love came into my mind and heart. It was one of the beginning of many days that helped me to be emotionally healthy again. I realized how loved I was and was surrounded by people who I needed and who in turn in needed me. I realized then and even more now that we are supposed to be here for each other and that people hurt each other without meaning to and even sometimes with meaning to, but that there is no pain that can not be healed by love. Love of self, love of the Savior, love of others. I feel so blessed to have learned all the things I have in the last two years. I would be celebrating my 2 year anniversary today, but instead I've helped (I hope) someone who is going through a difficult time on this, her first Valentine's Day alone.  I remember how I needed people to validate and love me on that day and let me know that though my life (it seemed) had fallen apart and couldn't be put back together, that there were still people who loved me and validated, even enjoyed and needed my existence. I remember how much that meant to me and forever will mean so much to me. I have been so blessed.  I have learned so much and have been able to do so many things.

If I hadn't had my heart broken look at all things I wouldn't have been able to do:
1. Go back to school and get my PE and Health endorsements
2. Go to Spain (that is probably the biggest dream I would have never completed!)
3. Go to Greece
4. Go to Hawaii 3 times!
5. Go to New York for a second time!
6. Meet my Grandpa for the first time.
7. Meet my Aunt Linda for the first time.
8. Meet my Dad again for only the 3rd time
9. Learn from so many other people
10. Know who I am more than I ever knew before
11. Continue to work in the temple and gain a testimony of what peace can be found there. (It's been a total of 7 years I've been able to serve in the temple.)
12. Learn how temporal life is and how fragile the time we have here is.
13. Learn to love myself so much more than I ever did.
14. Be happy on my own, not needing anyone to help me be happy even if the world was falling apart!
15. Run a half marathon
16. Run Red Rock Relay 2 times
17. Be me, the girl that Heavenly Father knows I can be and the princess; daughter of a King I have always told Him I wanted to be!

I will be okay and so will everyone else who has ever or will ever have a broken heart!  It has been some of the hardest pain I've ever been through, but if I could choose again, I would never ever change it, because I'm becoming the girl that I know I am supposed to become.  Life is a good thing to live! It's hard, but because of the pain and sorrow, there is joy and hope! 

Two of my students came running into my classroom today with their fortune from their lunch today!  It was great!  They were so excited (I'm not going to lie, I was too!)  They said, "Look and it even has your favorite number on it: 17 and won't you be 32 this year? It's your lucky fortune!"  We proceeded to write the date on it and posted it on the wall of "HOPE" on my cork board!

I'm happy to say that 2 years ago today I didn't get married to a man I didn't need to get married to, to become the girl I am today. The growth I have been able to do would have never happened...so, as hard as it has been and for how many times I have wondered,(I have been known to wonder when I will get married) I now know that I will get married when it's right.  That is all I need to know.  That is what I have FAITH and HOPE in.  Christ is my best friend. He is my Savior and has healed my broken heart, so much stronger than it ever was before. What a blessing of life! We are happy as we follow the Savior and do what He tells us to do! I'm glad for that!

Happy Valentine's Day! It's a great day to be ALIVE! (even though there are bound to be hard times ahead...just keep your head up...that's what I tell myself when I have the strength!) Off to buy more Valentines' suckers for the kids.  Our fundraiser is rocking!!!